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26 abr. 2012

Jokes of the Month

SHORT SHRIFT!

midget orinado en el baño
A man walks into a public toilet and goes to a urinal. A midget strides up to the urinal next to him. The guy notices the midget winking at him. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, he turns his head away. He looks back to see the midget still winking at him furiously. He loses his coll and ask the little guy, "What's with the winking, man? Are you gay? Do you want me or something?" The midget replies, "No, you asshole! You're splashing in my eyes!"




FLORIDA'S COWBOY!

Cowboy Entering Heaven A cowboy appears before St Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offers. "On a trip from Orlando to Miami, I came upon a gang of bikers that was threatening a young woman. I directed the bikers to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen, so I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him right in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, Now, back off or I'll kick the hell out of all of you!" 

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" he asks.

"Oh, just a few minutes ago," replies the cowboy.

WATCH OUT, IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

Roberto's wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.  Under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of two, and, suspecting her husband is cheating, she fetches a baseball bat and starts hitting the bed as hard as she can.

Once she's done, heart pounding, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. Shocked, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Hi, darling," he says. "Your parents have come to visit. I let them stay in our bedroom. Why don't you go in and say hello?"


IN THE ELEVATOR TALES!

A midget gets into an elevator. A few floors down, a huge man gets in and says, "Do you know that I weigh 280 Lbs? In fact, each one of my balls weighs 24 Lbs, my dick is 25 inches long and I'm Turner Brown." 

The midget faints. After being revived by the paramedics the midget asks the man to repeat his last few words. The man replies, "I said my name is Turner Brown". 

"Thanks God!" says the midget. "I thought you said 'Turn around'"

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